With His Luck
by Crawler
Summary: Hikaru's not the only one who can see ghosts. SaiMitani -COMPLETE-
1. I see dead people

I do not have a beta for this. I do so want a beta for this. Please, if you are interested in betaing, get in touch with me.

This takes place during the series, focusing mostly on Mitani, with occasional glimpses of Sai's perspective of things or Akari's. It's a pairing I have never seen before, a completely unheard of Sai/Mitani, but one I wanted to explore.

I am rating this R from the outset because of suggestions made in this chapter, events that happen next chapter, and more events in another chapter or so, maybe. This is not the most pleasant story, with mentions of underage sex, almost NCS situations, a character death (but it's Sai's, and if you didn't know that he died, you really don't know enough about HnG to read this), and eventual spoilers near the end of the series. So don't read if you don't want to know what happens.

A note: I see Sai as having been very young when he died – 17-18 ish. I have several reasons for this. First of all, he isn't all that much taller than a 14 year old Hikaru (see the final opening of the anime for proof). Secondly, he looks youthful. Thirdly, he acts childish at times, not the behavior of a fully mature adult. Thirdly, he lived 1000 years ago, where people didn't live as long as they do today. Which means they would grow up faster and take on jobs younger. Had he been female, he probably would have been wed and a mother by the age of 17-18.

A disclaimer: If these were my characters, I would not be writing fanfiction. I would be continuing the story for real. Since I'm writing fanfiction, you can tell these are not my characters. I'm just borrowing them for the moment.

And finally, a warning: Relationships of a homosexual nature will be portrayed in this story. If you cannot stomach this, please, do not torture yourself and continue reading. Take some Pepto-Bismol and lie down in a cool, dark room in a comfortable bed. I will not be held responsible if you do not follow my suggestion.

**With His Luck**

There was a reason Yuuki had avoided the Haze Jr. High Go club, and it wasn't because it was no fun. On the contrary, Yuuki craved the opportunity to play with people his own age. While the Go salons gave him some spending money, he didn't appreciate the heavy smokescreen surrounding each opponent or the way some of the men's eyes would linger on him too long, sweeping over his body in a definitely predatory way.

There were reasons Yuuki Mitani played to win in those salons.

But with the Haze Go club, the only smoke came whenever Tsutsui hung around Kaga too much, and then it was only a faint scent from his uniform where the taller boy's arm had been. The club members were too young to worry about appraising his body, and their desire to play Go came from a love of the game similar to the one Yuuki's grandfather had fostered in him when he was five years old.

No, Yuuki preferred playing at the Go club over the salons… except for one thing.

Hikaru Shindou.

It wasn't the boy himself who frightened Yuuki (not that he'd ever admit it). No, it was the shadow, the cold, which lurked right behind the enthusiastic boy. Yuuki had seen such shades before, but usually just around cemeteries or in ancient shrines, and then his parents had dismissed his frightened cries as those of a little child making up stories or just being paranoid. So Yuuki learned to hold his tongue when he saw the shades.

Shindou was the first person he had ever met who had a shade constantly at his side. Sometimes, the shades would try to follow Yuuki home, but they never could go far from their place of rest, so if he ran fast enough, they were left behind. Shindou's shade never left his side. Yuuki worried that if he joined the Go club, if he hung out with Shindou, that shade would detach itself from the brighter boy and cling to him, constantly torturing him with his presence.

So Yuuki avoided the Go club.

Naturally, with his luck, Shindou found him. Hunted him down in a Go salon. Watched him play against one of those men who looked at him too long and required him to cheat to prevent a loss and subsequent humbling against an alley wall somewhere. Cornered him in front of the shoe boxes and dragged him to the Chem. lab to join the Go club. Yuuki had wanted to bolt. He had wanted to grab his bag and get the hell away from Shindou and his shade. But, naturally, with his luck, Yuuki suffered from a great amount of pride and wouldn't allow himself the shame of fleeing from the boy his own age.

When Tsutsui offered to play a game with him, he almost squealed happily. Almost. The presence of Shindou's shade lurking behind him and the other kids around him allowed him to keep his head and detached image, grudgingly accepting one game.

Tsutsui sucked. Majorly. But Tsutsui kept his mind on the game and not the possible outcome should he win. Tsutsui played the game to play and enjoy it, not to try and pick up some extra yen. Yuuki almost didn't want to end the game so soon. He tried to ignore Shindou and his shade, but every moment spent in their presence was difficult. He could almost fell the icy breath of the dead being behind him, rolling down his neck and back in merciless, freezing waves. Yuuki leaned as far forward as he could, praying Tsutsui would give him an opportunity… yes! Tsutsui was still concentrating on the goban after a move, all it would take is one tap of the stone on the side and there! Tsutsui made his second move in a row; Yuuki tossed the stone back in the go-ke and fled as gracefully as he could.

It was his own fault Shindou found him again. The boy wasn't as stupid as he acted some times; it wasn't really that much of a stretch for him to assume Yuuki would return to the Go salon he had been at earlier. Dake was new to the salon, but Shu seemed to know him. Yuuki no longer even felt a desire to shudder when the ugly man leered at him – too many months of suppressing the urges eventually killed them. He just met Dake's gaze coolly, judging his Go based on what little he saw of the game Shu played with him.

He should have known it was a trap. He should have recognized that Shu _never_ gambled with his customers, yet collected money from Dake. He should have recognized that the alcohol smell came from Dake's clothes, not his breath. He should have seen through the false slur and the overall weakness of Dake's right hand.

Should have, but he didn't.

Shindou's shade flowed into the room, standing right behind him, beside him, over him. The cold from death drained his life warmth from him, and he was too distracted from ignoring the shade to notice the inconsistencies with Dake.

He lost. He lost, and he lost more than 10,000 yen. The way Dake looked at him, ran his eyes down the line of buttons on his shirt and below the table… Yuuki knew he'd be losing something else if he didn't move fast. He pulled his money out, flung it at the other man, and made to flee… but naturally, with his luck, he was 20 yen short, and Dake called him on it before he had time to make his getaway. And then Shu… Shu had called this beast here, called him here to trounce Yuuki… That hurt more than the loss. He had trusted Shu, but was now going to be ravaged because of what the old man had done. Damn his pride. He returned Shu's money and borrowed the 20 yen from Shindou, accepting that this meant he'd be running into the shade again, and dashed away, disappearing into the crowd, trying to get somewhere safe before Dake came after him.

Dake never reached him. Yuuki whispered a small prayer of thanks to whatever god decided to grant him some small respite. His dreams that night were terrible. Dake was there, tearing at his clothes, pressing him against a wall that suddenly gave way and the arms of Shindou's shade were wrapping around him and he was falling, falling, drowning in the shadow, the icy cold feeling like thousands of knives driving into his skin. And Dake was leering down at him as the shadows climbed his body, filled his mouth and nose, blurred his vision… and then he felt more solid arms around him, pushing him out of the shadows, and Dake had been replaced by Shindou, taking him from his savior and helping him onto solid ground, into warmth and light and the unending whine of his alarm to tell him it was time to get ready for school.

He owed Shindou twenty yen. So he gave Shindou twenty yen worth of his time, letting the shade-infested boy approach him before school to tell him that he'd return his 10,000 yen if Yuuki went to the Chem. lab after school. Of course, Shindou had to have told him this in the morning, giving him the full course of the day to dread the encounter. But he owed Shindou twenty yen. So he went.

Twenty yen, however, wasn't enough for Yuuki to look at Shindou, and it was no where ever even close to the price Yuuki would demand to look at that dark smudge right behind Shindou's shoulder. He looked at a flask… Erlenmeyer, wasn't that what the teacher called it? Or was it Erinmeyer? "I came to the science lab, just like you asked. So fork over that 10,000 yen." As Shindou handed the money over and took his twenty yen back, he related the tale of how he asked Dake to return the money.

Yuuki didn't buy it. Dake didn't seem like the type of guy who'd "feel sorry" and just hand over 10,000 yen, and Shu… Shu couldn't afford to just give 10,000 yen to a cheating brat. But whatever Shindou had done, he had unwittingly distracted Dake long enough for Yuuki to get away, and managed to make it through unscathed himself, if the unfazed grin on his face said anything. Maybe it was the shade's doing. Yuuki frowned slightly at that thought. No matter what had happened though, he was back in Shindou's debt, and the grinning boy didn't even realize it. Yuuki scowled, but he took a seat across the goban from Shindou, offering the game as a means of beginning to repay his enormous debt.

The game with Shindou was definitely interesting. Shindou had an odd, almost archaic, undertone to his moves, and he was even worse than Tsutsui… but it was his actions during the game that caught Yuuki's eye. His keen gaze caught Shindou glancing in the direction of his shade from time to time, occasionally grinning as though sharing an inside joke with someone who wasn't there. Sometimes the glance was no more than a flick of his eyes to the side immediately before or after playing a stone. Yuuki watched Shindou warily, wondering what would happen if he questioned the other about the shade. Would he be seen as insane, or would Shindou reveal that he too could sense the uneasy souls of the dead who could not rest?

Just as Yuuki opened his mouth to ask, deciding that he could risk a blow to his image for the chance to talk to someone else who could see a perfectly valid reason behind running past cemeteries without a glance, Tsutsui walked in. Fujisaki followed soon after. Yuuki's mouth shut with an almost audible click. A blow to his pride in front of Shindou and the shade alone was one thing, but no way was he chancing it in front of the entire Go club.

When they started going on about the tournament again, Tsutsui and Shindou, Yuuki had to damn his pride again. The two boys who barely knew a keima from a kosumi had defeated Kaio's team, yet claimed he himself didn't have a chance. Yuuki bristled. Go was one of the few things that held great meaning in his life, a way he remembered his grandfather. And they claimed that his Go wasn't good enough? Who were they to make that decision? So Yuuki's mouth opened on its own and the fateful words spilled out. "Let's beat Kaio." Let's. Let us. Yuuki had signed his soul over to the Go club, becoming the fourth member. Fifth if you counted the shade.

The more Yuuki watched Shindou's interactions with his shade, the more Yuuki believed that the shade really was a Go club member. It seemed less depressed whenever it was around gobans or conversations about Go. If Yuuki passed Shindou in the hall, the shade was almost always giving off a more uneasy aura. The cold had lessened too. The Chem. lab was only mildly cool when the club met, not the icy cold that Yuuki had felt in the Go salon, when someone was cheating… could that be it? Could this shade see himself to be a protector of Go? Yuuki smirked at the idea. If so, the shade picked a really lousy kid to be attached too. Shindou couldn't beat him with a nine stone handicap. Shindou couldn't beat Tsutsui in an even game. Shindou could barely beat the girl, Fujisaki. But… Shindou did have enthusiasm. Yuuki had to give him that. The boy seemed to honestly love the game, and he was improving pretty fast. Perhaps that was why the shade stuck to his side.

> > > > >

To Be Continued...


	2. In dreams

Right… Thanks to the three people who have reviewed thus far.

Note to readers – THIS STORY IS SITTING ON MY COMPUTER, COMPLETELY FINISHED. I'm just too lazy to slap it all up at once. If you could just remind me every now and then to shift my lethargic fingers, I'll post chapters more frequently.

Anyway, this is the chapter with the NCSish situations and really underageness. It's at the end, and marked with a single asterisk () before and after, so if you don't want to read that, you don't have to.

I still do not own any of this, except the idea. Oh, and Megu, who's just some random sleazy guy who I'd be more than happy to hand off, if you'd like.

_**With His Luck**_

The first dream came two weeks after joining the Go club and playing there after school nearly every day. Yuuki was wading into a river when he felt like he was being dragged down, the weight of layers and layers of water-logged robes fighting his attempts to stay afloat. The water filled his mouth and nose like the shadows had earlier, and he coughed and sputtered and tried to scream for help, but could make no sound.

Then _he _came. A beautiful young man with long black hair. He ran into the water, ignoring the way it tugged at his own heavy robes, just to grab at Yuuki, to pull him above the surface and drag him to the riverbank. He collapsed beside Yuuki at the edge of the river, breathing heavily, shaking water from his billowing sleeves.

Yuuki coughed a few more times, trying to clear the water from his lungs, before he gathered the energy to roll over and look up at his savior. He watched as one arm raised, completely hidden by the massive sleeve, to brush dark hair from a pale face, and then calm blue eyes turned and met Yuuki's own violet gaze.

Yuuki's breath caught in his throat as the beautiful young man turned his face toward him, smiling slightly as if to confirm that they were both all right. "Who are you?" Yuuki's voice came out raspy, still hoarse from his coughing. The figure's smile vanished as he started to fade away, shaking his head. Then Yuuki woke up.

Yuuki looked around his room, his furniture just dark smudges against the walls, barely lit from streetlights shining through his heavy curtains. Through the curtain dividing the small room in two, he could hear the sound of his sister's steady breathing as she slept. Yuuki ran a shaky hand through his hair, looking over at his clock. 3:14 AM. He did _not _need this now.

The next night, he was drowning again. And again, the beautiful young man saved him, but this time, he placed a finger over Yuuki's lips, shaking his head to tell Yuuki that he must not make a sound. Yuuki nodded, to show he understood, and the other man smiled, offering his hand to help Yuuki up.

They wandered around in a park full of sakura trees, the blossoms perfuming the air. The young man smiled and closed his eyes, drawing in the beauty of the park. Yuuki frowned and kept his eyes open, studying his dreammate.

Yuuki would drown each night. Sometimes, his dreammate would be there to save him, then spend the rest of the night wandering through a dreamscape with him, but most of the time, the icy water would win and Yuuki would sink into shadowy depths and a dreamless sleep.

The dreamscapes started varying drastically after about a month of dreamwandering. Yuuki began recognizing some of the places as scenes from his memories. Once, he and his dreammate even walked in on Yuuki's grandfather teaching five-year-old Yuuki the proper way to hold Go stones. His dreammate beamed at Yuuki and patted Chibi Yuuki's head, though the younger version didn't notice. Yuuki scuffed his foot slightly, looking away with a slight embarrassed blush staining his cheeks.

Other times, the scenes were nothing Yuuki recognized, but definitely places his dreammate knew. Yuuki and his dreammate would wander through ancient palaces, Yuuki occasionally being enthusiastically pulled from one room to the next as his dreammate silently showed off various items of interest. Once, he and his dreammate sat on opposite sides of a goban. His dreammate slid his fingers into the go-ke, closing his eyes in pleasure at the feel of the stones against his fingers, a tear sliding down his cheek as he lifted a handful onto the board to nigiri. Yuuki silently placed two black stones. The count was odd. They exchanged go-kes and began to play.

Yuuki's dreammate was good. Really good. Even playing with his eyes half-closed and tears quietly slipping from his eyes, with his fan masking his mouth, Yuuki's dreammate was really good. Yuuki lost. They played again. Yuuki lost again. His dreammate leaned over and took nine black stones from Yuuki's go-ke, placing them on the board as a handicap, and offered to play again.

Yuuki still lost.

But… Yuuki didn't mind losing. His dreammate was obviously very talented in Go, and even tried explaining some things to Yuuki without using words. By now, they both had realized that even the slightest sound from either of their lips would have Yuuki's dreammate fading away and Yuuki waking up. So after games, the dreammate would gesture to a spot on the board and recreate it on the floor, silently showing Yuuki better ways to play.

They didn't get the chance to play Go very often. Rarely did they wander through a memory with a free goban. More often then not, a younger version of Yuuki or his dreammate were occupying the only goban around. They did play enough, however, for Yuuki to recognize his dreammate's playing style. It was identical to Shusaku's. At the same time, however, Yuuki's dreammate did _not _resemble any picture of Shusaku Yuuki could find. So Yuuki settled for calling him "Honinbo." He wished he knew the true name of his nightly friend.

The more time he spent with Shindou and the Go club, the more comfortable Yuuki became around Shindou's shade. In fact… Yuuki's eyes widened ever so slightly as he watched Shindou play the exact same move against him that Honinbo had used just the night before. For the briefest moment, his violet eyes flicked to the dark smudge behind Shindou before returning to the goban. Shindou would still lose… but was this some form of a sign? Was Honinbo and Shindou's shade the same being? If so… if so, that would explain… it would explain something, at least. It would explain why Shindou's Go style felt ancient. He was picking it up from a person who had been dead for around 1000 years – Honinbo dressed in the styles of the Heian era.

Yuuki flattened Shindou again, but he allowed a smile for the other boy. "It was a good game," he said. "I especially liked this defense, here." He pointed to the Honinbo move, waiting to see Shindou's reaction. Shindou just beamed at him. "One of these days, I'll beat you!"

Yuuki just rolled his eyes. "Keep dreaming, Shindou."

But that night, when Honinbo fished him out of the river, he was beaming. And Yuuki knew that he was right. Honinbo was Shindou's shade.

They found an empty goban that night, and sat down as if to play each other, but Honinbo took both the go-kes. He had a questioning look on his face as he batted Yuuki's hands away and began laying out a game.

Yuuki soon recognized the shapes as the game he was playing the first time Shindou came into the Go salon. The game finished, and Honinbo met Yuuki's gaze before beginning to shift the stones around. He paused, looking up to meet Yuuki's gaze again, and Yuuki knew what would happen next. Sure enough, Honinbo pushed the stones the same way Yuuki had done, expanding one territory at the cost of the opponent's. He folded his hands back inside his sleeves and sat back, watching Yuuki, still questioning.

Yuuki sighed. How does one go about explaining to a ghost one couldn't talk to that he was desperate to win? He closed his eyes and shuddered slightly at the memory of his second-to-last loss in the Go salon.

And then Honinbo was shaking his shoulder. Yuuki opened his eyes and blanched at the sight. He was back in Shu's Go salon, and there was Megu, playing a ten-year-old him.

Honinbo looked questioningly down at Yuuki when he subconsciously tried to hide behind Honinbo's voluminous robes. He knew Megu couldn't see him, couldn't touch him, but still…

Honinbo watched as Megu played Chibi Yuuki and won. He watched Chibi Yuuki grudgingly pass over the money – only 500 yen at this time – and he watched as Chibi Yuuki left the salon, looking rather dejected. He watched Megu follow Chibi Yuuki out and followed Megu. Yuuki trailed after Honinbo, knowing what would happen next and wishing Honinbo would stop following this particular memory.

Chibi Yuuki took a sharp left down an alley, a shortcut to return to the apartment where he lived. Yuuki silently pleaded with Chibi Yuuki to turn around, stick to the well-lit, occupied paths. Megu followed Chibi Yuuki, Honinbo followed Megu, and Yuuki trailed along after them.

Yuuki remembers this. He remembers how dejected he was feeling at his first loss in a while, and how he wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings. He remembers the sound of footsteps behind him and remembers not paying any attention until it was too late and large hands had him pinned in a corner formed by a dumpster pressed against the filthy wall of a building. Yuuki turned his face away, unable to bring himself to watch as Chibi Yuuki's cry was muffled by Megu's lips crushing his, stealing his first kiss away. Beside Yuuki, Honinbo tensed, hands hidden in the wide sleeves flying up to cover his mouth in shock as he took a step back, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight.

Yuuki shivered slightly, remembering how Megu's thick tongue felt as it pushed into his mouth, remembering how the blood tasted when he bit down as hard as he could. He heard the sharp slap of flesh meeting flesh as Megu backhanded Chibi Yuuki, cursing him for being a little brat who didn't know how to give the victor his prize.

Yuuki knew what would happen next. Chibi Yuuki would fall against the wall, head spinning from the force of the blow, unable to recover in time to block the fist that would slam into his stomach, knocking the wind from him. Chibi Yuuki would then be shoved into the corner again, unable to draw enough breath for even a whimper of protest as Megu tore his shirt open – no suspenders then. Megu would use one large hand to keep Chibi Yuuki pressed against the wall while the other would possessively rake down his now exposed torso, almost big enough to cover the small boy's entire chest at once. Then the hand would dip into Chibi Yuuki's pants, too big for his slender hips, but bought with an assurance that he would grow into them.

But here Megu would make a mistake, releasing his hold on Chibi Yuuki's slim wrists to maneuver him into a better position for what would come next, and Chibi Yuuki would slam his foot into Megu's instep as hard as he could, ramming his elbow into the older man's groin and fleeing as the man recoiled in pain and surprise. He wouldn't even stop to rebutton his open shirt or hike up his pants, now riding dangerously low. He would run with his youthful stamina until he reached the safety of his own apartment, and then he would curl up in his bed with the covers drawn tightly around him and a fist shoved in his mouth to keep the sounds of his sobs from being heard by the rest of his family.

And no one but Megu would know what happened in the alley. But Chibi Yuuki would teach himself how to cheat, to make sure that he would never lose again.

Back in the alley, after Megu left, Honinbo turned to Yuuki, a horrified expression on his face. Yuuki couldn't meet his eyes. He just shoved his hands in his pockets and studied the graffiti scrawled across the walls. He didn't expect Honinbo to wrap his arms around him, to bury him in the folds of his robe and hold him tightly. He didn't expect to press closer to Honinbo, fresh tears shimmering in his eyes. Nor did he expect to hear Honinbo's voice for the first time, soft and low, murmuring, "I understand," in his ear after a long moment in Honinbo's embrace.

He did expect Honinbo to lose substance in his arms after the murmur, and did expect to wake up, wiping the tears from his face. He cast his eyes around the small room and smiled slightly. "Thank you," he whispered back, not expecting Honinbo to hear him, before pulling his covers back around him and falling asleep once more.

Again, sorry for taking so long. Sometimes I need other people reminding me.

Question: Would anyone be interested in seeing a Hikaru no Go/Yu Yu Hakusho crossover? Mitani has red hair and a really strong sixth sense in this story… which YYH guy does that remind you of?

Crawler


	3. All things must end

Okay, in this chapter, you get a bit of Sai's POV. I didn't mark where it switches, but if you can't tell… if you can't tell, I'm really sorry for you. Truly.

This is also the chapter with a character death, but again, it's Sai, and if you didn't know he died… I'm really sorry for you. Truly.

Finally, this chapter is dedicated to Song Min Dao, who was the only one willing to say, "NO, I was NOT scared off by your first chapter and waited for your second one!" Song Min Dao, if you're still reading this, I'm really grateful for you. Truly.

_**  
With His Luck**_

Honinbo came to him the next night, pulling him out of the river and enfolding him in another hug, nearly smothering him with the sheer amount of fabric in his sleeves alone. But Yuuki didn't complain. He just hugged back, realizing that Honinbo now knew his darkest secret, and still pulled him from the river and held him close. When Honinbo drew away, however, his face was serious and he beckoned for Yuuki to follow him.

The memory they wandered through this time was one of Honinbo's. Yuuki and Honinbo sat politely beside a goban, watching as another Honinbo entered and took his place on one side. Other Heian nobles filtered in, with one wearing a similar outfit to Honinbo's taking a place on the other side. Yuuki noted that the only real difference between his Honinbo and the one sitting at the board was the amount of sadness and wisdom his Honinbo showed.

The game commenced. It was one of the most intense matches Yuuki had ever witnessed. He watched in amazement as the two evenly-matched players went back and forth over the board. He knew Honinbo was good, but Yuuki had never been able to see him play against someone who actually challenged him. Honinbo suddenly nudged Yuuki and pointed to the other player's hand. With some horror, Yuuki watched Honinbo's opponent drop an extra stone in with his prisoners, then rise up and accuse Honinbo of cheating. Honinbo tried to defend himself, but the emperor would have none of it and insisted both continue the game. Yuuki didn't need to watch the game to know the outcome – he just needed to look over at his Honinbo's defeated posture. Honinbo had lost this game. Yuuki reached over and took Honinbo's hand, squeezing it slightly and offering a smile, trying to cheer him up. Honinbo's returned smile was weak and wavering.

The next night, Yuuki saw the reason why. He watched in horror as the other Go player confronted a crushed Honinbo, laughing at his incompetence before making an attempt to kiss him. Honinbo fled, but was soon trapped between the other player approaching him and a river. Honinbo didn't even pause to think, he just flung himself into the water. The amount of fabric in his clothes weighed him down, and Yuuki knew, from an odd sort of experience, that Honinbo would drown. The other Go player stood at the edge of the river with a scowl on his face.

Yuuki punched him.

> > > > >

Sai didn't know why Mitani was in his dreams whenever he managed to sleep. Nor did he know why Mitani was always drowning at the start. After many dreams, though, Sai no longer cared to know why. It was enough to have Mitani around. Sometimes… sometimes he felt like the red-headed boy could see him, even when they were both wide awake. More than once, he would swear that Mitani had looked straight at him, but only for a second, and only to be quickly distracted by something else.

Surely Mitani would have raised more of a fuss if he actually did see a Heian-era Go player trailing behind Hikaru everywhere.

So Sai settled for walking with him in dreams. Mitani was a better Go player than Hikaru, but still pretty weak. He had potential, but no one to sharpen his skills on. Sai was thrilled to indulge him in game after game whenever they had a chance – after all, it gave Sai a chance to play and actually hold the stones in his own hands for once. He didn't mind the necessary silence between the two of them. The shared dreams gave him an excellent way to relax after spending days with Hikaru.

Sai enjoyed the memory dreams even more than he enjoyed the random dreamscapes – usually in areas with beautiful sakura trees. He loved watching as Mitani discovered Go for the first time and chased his sister around the apartment, screaming at her to play with him. He found Mitani's reactions fascinating as well, watching the normally detached and aloof boy relax and smile genuinely at his antics, occasionally watching an older man, most likely his grandfather, with a fond expression. Sai remembered Mitani telling Hikaru, Tsutsui, and Akari once how his grandfather had taught him Go before he died.

Sai enjoyed taking Mitani on walks through his own memories as well. Mitani seemed just as fascinated by the Heian palaces and objects as Sai was by Mitani's childhood. But there was one thing Sai didn't understand, and so he devised a way to question Mitani. He recreated the game he had seen Mitani cheat at, and made the cheating slide very obvious – although the way Mitani had been scowling slightly, he could tell Mitani had already recognized the game and knew what he wanted. He didn't expect Mitani to change the dreamscape to a memory and didn't think Mitani realized he had done it until Sai shook his shoulder gently.

The way Mitani had recoiled when he looked around the Go salon and practically hid under Sai's robes should have told the ghost that this was not a pleasant memory like the others had been. But Sai was fascinated with the little boy in the corner playing Go with the much older man. He noted that Mitani did not cheat in this game, and ended up losing by one and a half moku. He sensed that the memory was not over by the time Mitani left the salon, and so he followed, wondering what drove Mitani to cheat.

He wished he had never asked. Mitani trembled beside him during the entire scene in the alley, and shame burned on his face after the memory figures had left. Sai did the only thing that seemed right at the time, gathering Mitani into his arms and shielding him from the cruel world. As Mitani clung to him, trying to swallow his tears and maintain his fierce pride, Sai just stroked his hair and his back, understanding now why Mitani would cheat. He still didn't approve of the cheating – Mitani should have just found a better Go salon to frequent, like the Touya's – but he understood the reasoning behind it. And as Mitani clung to him, he lowered his lips to Mitani's ear and whispered that, speaking to him for the first time. "I understand."

It was difficult for Sai, as a ghost, to sleep. He usually only managed a few hours rest every three or four days – often when Hikaru slept during English class – but he knew that he needed to return to the dreamworld that night, lest Mitani fear that he had deserted him in disgust. So he forced himself to sleep while Hikaru did, and sure enough, there was Mitani, sinking into the river again. Sai hauled him out and hugged him immediately, pleased when he felt Mitani return the embrace without as much desperation as he had the previous night. But now it was Sai's turn to share a painful memory.

Sai hadn't expected Mitani to react so violently toward his opponent, punching him in the face with enough force to break his nose – had he actually been there. But he was pleased with how defensive Mitani was over him, and when he smiled, he could feel the centuries of sadness over this memory falling away.

That summer, Sai and Mitani walked together in their dreams every night. Playing Go constantly over the internet managed to wear Sai down and allowed him to sleep much more frequently. He never told Hikaru what he did in his dreams though, choosing to keep this small section of his existence private and his own, just as he allowed Hikaru to have his own private moments. And as Mitani grew and matured before Sai's eyes, both in dreams and in waking, Sai began to fall in love with him.

> > > > >

Yuuki had known it would end. He just had hoped it wouldn't end so soon, so explosively. Shindou quit the Go club. He would move on, become a pro… and would take Honinbo with him.

Yuuki wouldn't stand for it. He tried everything he could think of to dissuade Shindou, yelling at him, insulting him, trying to make him feel guilty, and threatening to leave himself… It would have worked. Yuuki had complete confidence in his manipulative skills. It would have worked… if Kaga hadn't shown up. Kaga had complete confidence in Shindou's Go. So Yuuki tried to beat Shindou. He tried his hardest. He even ignored Honinbo's presence, crouching by his side to watch, as he threw everything he had at Shindou. In an even game, with no time to think for Shindou and black's advantage given to Yuuki, Yuuki was sure he had a good shot at winning. He needed to win, needed to show Shindou where he belonged, where _Honinbo_ belonged.

Shindou won. By six and a half moku. And then Shindou turned away, concentrating solely on Kaga.

This loss stung Yuuki even worse than the defeat Kishimoto had handed him at the tournament last year. He clenched his hands into fists on the goban, feeling the smooth stones pressing against his palms, barely able to whisper, "I resign." For he had resigned. Shindou had won. Shindou would go on with his life, go on with Honinbo… and Honinbo would focus solely on Shindou. After all, Shindou was the better Go player. Shindou was the one with the bright, shining future. Yuuki was just a loud-mouthed brat with too much pride for his own good.

And yet… and yet Honinbo didn't move from his spot. The shade stayed crouched by Yuuki's side, silently offering what support he could, drawing Yuuki's pain in and trying to banish it away. But nothing Honinbo did would ease all of Yuuki's suffering. With his pride, Yuuki had loudly declared, in front of everyone, that he would quit the Go club. He couldn't go back on that without losing face. He would lose Honinbo, and he would lose the easy camaraderie with Tsutsui, Fujisaki, Shindou, Natsumi, and Kumiko. Naturally, with his luck, when Yuuki lost, he lost everything.

> > > > >

I am trying to figure out why my formatting was slightly messed up in the last chapter. Just now noticed that. sighs. Anyway… I'm thinking one more chapter, maybe two short ones, at the most. Depends on how I feel in a day or so.

Crawler


	4. Life Goes On

Last chapter! Thank you to the people who left me a grand total of… five reviews.

Well.

Five is better than four! Yay! Thank you!

Anyway, Akari puts in her two cents in here, and suicide and stuff comes up… and… yeah.

But here, it's complete. Read, enjoy, please comment.

_**With His Luck**_

To his surprise, Honinbo didn't completely vanish from his life. His dream visits were far less frequent than they were during the summer, and Yuuki was more often than not left to drown in the river. But he was grateful for still being allowed to visit with Honinbo and occasionally play a game with him. Yuuki never complained.

Gradually, with time, lots and lots of time, Yuuki swallowed his pride and began to slip back into the Go club. There were a few new members, Koike and Kaneko, and he couldn't stand either of them for long, but he stuck it out. The opportunity to play Go again was worth their annoying presences.

Indeed, over time, the two started to grow on him. Koike practically worshipped the ground he walked on, as he was the best Go player in the club, and Kaneko was just as stubborn as he was, and improving every day. She was the biggest challenge he had when he wasn't able to play Honinbo, and he craved the chance to duel with an equal.

Shindou, however, was not one he could forgive. Shindou had stolen Honinbo from his life, making the shade not a constant presence, but rather an occasional nightly gift. As he grew older and wiser in the ways of life, his dislike for Shindou increased. He began to see Honinbo as more than just a pretty young man, but as an attractive friend. Without even realizing it, Yuuki sought chances to bring a smile to Honinbo's face, to make his expressive blue eyes glow with pleasure, or even to earn an embrace from the other. When Honinbo himself was absent from Yuuki's dreams, his image was there, usually without quite as many robes, and Yuuki woke with his face burning and an unsatisfied ache between his legs. He prayed that he and Honinbo would never walk through _those _particular memories.

One night, not long after Shindou had become a pro, Yuuki was pulled from the river and looked at Honinbo, shocked to see a desperate, pleading expression on the young man's face. Yuuki reached out to touch Honinbo's cheek, his own face questioning Honinbo, wondering what was wrong.

Honinbo responded by drawing Yuuki close and kissing him.

It took all of Yuuki's willpower not to gasp or cry out in surprise or moan, not wanting this night to end right then. He quickly relaxed, raising his other hand to cup Honinbo's face, and he returned the kiss.

It was an odd sensation, like kissing sakura blossoms. Honinbo's lips and mouth didn't feel natural under Yuuki's, but they didn't feel bad either. Honinbo broke the kiss too soon for Yuuki's liking, but made it up to him by trailing his petal-lips across Yuuki's chin and down his neck.

Yuuki could have stopped it there, should have stopped it there, but he didn't. He didn't want to. He wanted to feel Honinbo, wanted to press their bodies together and taste every inch of the beautiful man before him. He wanted Honinbo's fingers and lips caressing every inch of his body. He wanted to give himself completely to Honinbo, and he wanted to lie sated in his arms, with Honinbo's robes wrapped around both of them like blankets, the sweat drying on their skin as they listened to each other's heart beat.

He almost got his wish.

Everything was going well. Clothes were shed, lips met skin, bodies were united… but Yuuki was the one who destroyed the end for both of them. Honinbo reached his completion moments before Yuuki, and as Yuuki came, a cry was torn from his throat, escaping his lips before he could stop it. Honinbo leaned forward, quickly muffling Yuuki with a kiss, but the damage was done, and Honinbo slipped through Yuuki's fingers like a fine mist. "Don't go!" Yuuki cried, trying to hold on to the rapidly fading figure, but Honinbo could only smile sadly and disappear as Yuuki woke, the sticky evidence of his passion smeared across his stomach.

Yuuki didn't drown the next night. Or the night after. It was rather frightening to _not _drown, just as terrifying as it had been the first few nights he _had _drowned. But Yuuki didn't drown in the river, and Honinbo never visited him.

Before too long, Yuuki learned that Shindou had been skipping his pro matches, and, when confronted in the hall by Fujisaki and himself, was all alone. He looked absolutely miserable, and the now-familiar shade was gone from his side. Yuuki's heart dropped to somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach. Honinbo was gone. Honinbo was gone, and somehow it was all Shindou's fault. It was all Shindou's fault! Shindou killed Honinbo!

Yuuki knew his accusations were irrational, but it felt better to put the blame on Shindou. It was easier to hate Shindou for Honinbo's disappearance than to hate himself… what if his cry was the reason Honinbo was gone from both of their lives?

Yuuki barely noticed how quickly he was spiraling deeper into depression after Honinbo's disappearance. Fujisaki drew his attention to it many months after Shindou had gotten back on his feet in the Go world – how dare he return to normal life after Honinbo left? How dare he? – by pointing out how irritable had had become. After all, how was Kumiko supposed to know he hated sakura blossoms? She had brought them in as Valentine's Day gifts for the males in the Go club, there really was no reason for Yuuki to knock his from her hands and coldly declare that he couldn't stand the sight of the blossoms. Yuuki admitted to himself that Fujisaki had a point… but still… Natsumi suggested they go out for a meal together, to calm down. After all, it was probably just the looming entrance exams that had Yuuki in such a riled state – this wasn't an easy time for any of them.

Yuuki went, because he owed Kumiko that much, an apology of sorts. They decided on a relatively cheap but still nice restaurant not too far from the school, and they started walking there as a group. Natsumi, Koike, Fujisaki, Kaneko, and Kumiko all talked and laughed together while Yuuki kept falling farther and farther behind. As they crossed a bridge over a river, Yuuki stopped altogether. He walked to the railing and looked down at the water below.

"Mitani! Come on!" Fujisaki called back to him, a giggle in her voice as she glanced back for a moment, but the group didn't stop. Not yet, at least.

Yuuki only barely glanced over at her before looking back at the lazy river. If he squinted, he could almost make out the billow of Honinbo's robes as he was dragged to his death. It would be easy to follow him. Yuuki set his bag down and climbed up on the railing. "Honinbo… catch me," he whispered before leaning forward and letting go.

> > > > >

Akari heard a splash and turned again to see if Mitani had caught up to them yet, but she couldn't see him. He had been right there, by the railing, staring into the river as if it held some answer he needed. His bag was still there... splash? "Mitani!" she shrieked, running to the railing and leaning over, watching the river ripple right below where Mitani's bag was. "_Mitani!_" She could see him in the water, she could see that red head anywhere. What scared her was how Mitani wasn't struggling, wasn't making any attempt to swim, from what should could see. He was letting himself sink into the depths of the river.

Beside her, Kumiko was wailing, and Koike was gripping the railing, his knuckles turning white as his eyes grew wider and wider. There was another splash as Kaneko, having kicked off her shoes, dived into the river as well, swimming for Mitani with strong, steady strokes. Natsumi was behind her, calling for an ambulance on his cell phone.

Mitani had stopped breathing by the time Kaneko got him to shore, and she performed the CPR she had learned in a life guarding class on him until the rescue workers arrived. Akari had never felt such relief as she did when Mitani suddenly coughed and sputtered, spitting out river water he had breathed in. He was taken to the hospital, and the rest of the Go club was offered rides to their respective houses by some policemen who had arrived as well.

By the time Mitani returned to school the next week, everyone knew about his fall. The most prevalent rumor was that he had jumped in, an attempt at suicide. The other acceptable reasoning was that he had fainted and fallen in.

Akari hated to admit it, but she believed the former. The way Mitani's bag had been neatly placed against the railing, the dead look to his eyes that had been present for months, his higher-than-normal irritability, his sulks… Mitani had been depressed. Depressed people tried to end their suffering. Akari knew that.

So she was surprised when he quietly slipped back into the Chem. lab after school, silently taking a place behind one of the gobans. But she didn't question it. None of the club members did. They played Go as if nothing had happened.

Two games later, when Mitani and Kaneko were picking up a game they had just played (one stone handicap for Kaneko, she lost), Mitani suddenly flung a handful of stones back on the board. "_Why did you save me?_" he demanded, his eyes cold. And Akari knew for sure that Mitani had attempted suicide.

Kaneko just continued calmly picking up the stones. "Because you're alive," she replied. "And every life is valuable, even yours." Mitani clenched his fists as if readying himself to punch her. But Kaneko stayed calm. She knew Mitani's mindset better than anyone else in the club. "But you're not mad for being alive right now, you're mad because you now owe me. You owe me your life." Her dark eyes met Mitani's surprised violet ones. The rest of the Go club was staring at her with similar surprise on their faces. "And, to repay me, you won't ever try to take your life again. I won't accept anything else in payment of your debt."

Mitani's eyes narrowed and he slammed his fist into the table with a curse. Kaneko just leveled an even gaze at him. "What was so terrible that you couldn't stand life anymore?"

Akari turned to look at Mitani. He was quiet and still for a long, long moment, then he murmured. "That isn't part of the payment." He swept a handful of white stones off the board and into his hand, holding them out. "Nigiri."

And as Mitani left the lab that evening, Akari watched him lift a sakura blossom from a vase and press a kiss to the soft petals before he replaced it and disappeared, as quietly as a ghost.

And she knew everything would turn out all right.

> > > > >

Crawler


End file.
